LIFE: The Danger of Great Expectations

Note: This post was originally written at the end of July and I went back and forth about posting it. Let me know what you think:

I normally wouldn't write something like this on the blog but my patience is completely shot lately and so with apologies...

I hate Wal-Mart! Have always hated it but began to hate it more when I learned about how bad a company it is for this country ( http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/). Putting mom and pop stores out of business, blocking the formation of unions, underpaying and not providing enough health benefits for employees ( http://www.wakeupwalmart.com/facts/)...all things that I despise.

I had started my own personal boycott of Wal-Mart a few years back. I wouldn't spend any of my money there and avoided the place any way I could. I didn't force that boycott on my family but they knew how I felt (I don't believe in forcing beliefs on others but just ask that people listen to each other's ideas).

Well, with babies come expenses...such as diapers, baby wipes, baby food, etc. Wal-Mart, much to my mixed feelings, has these items cheaper than most other stores in the area. I wasn't very happy about giving them my money but economically it made sense for my family. And, now that I'm facing potential unemployment in two weeks, Wal-Mart is making me swallow my pride even more.

But, besides those other (admittedly, more important) reasons, the thing that gets under my skin the most about Wal-Mart are the people who shop there. Now, before you go getting insulted, I know that's a generalization and I accept that not everyone is the way I'm going to describe.

Now, I'm a Jersey Boy/New Yorker and I've seen just about everything and can tolerate many things. I've dealt with the "typical New Yorkers" that many people outside of NY envision. And I'll teach Mikey how to get along in this type of environment when he's old enough.

One of the problems that I've had in my adult life is having expectations of other people (you could call them great expectations in relation to our current society). I was raised with manners (saying excuse me, opening doors for people, respecting elders) and compassion for my fellow man. That's the way I want to raise Mikey, too. But, alas, it doesn't seem enough parents are teaching their kids that anymore and it seems even more adults have either never learned those things or have just given up on living them.

I was shopping with Mikey this past weekend at Wal-Mart. He's such a good boy when we go out in public and I enjoy his company. He made me being in Wal-Mart a little easier.

When I'm out with Mikey I'm very protective of him. Many people nowadays are self-centered and don't pay attention or care about other people around them and to me that's a potential danger to my child and/or my family.

Well, this big galoof of a guy (you know the type, a Vince Vaughan without the looks or talent) and his (I'm assuming) wife come walking toward us as I turn the corner to go down an aisle. There was barely any space between our shopping cart and the wall of the aisle and these two decide they can fit their adult frames in that space to get by. They squeeze through and bump the cart and, as I said about being protective of Mikey, that and the lack of manners was enough to get my attention. So, I said, "You know, 'excuse me' works." Making that comment was enough for me...kind of gets my frustration out to let people know when they were rude.

But, apparently, me making that comment was an even bigger affront than them bumping the cart and being rude. They both turn around and hurl some nice curses at me. I laughed and said "You gotta be kidding me." The lady (and I use that term loosely), I guess his wife, says "nice example you're setting for your son." This was enough to get my blood boiling and I said, incredulously, "Are you serious? You are the ones who have no manners!"

Again, I guess I was perpetrating such a crime in pointing this out to them that all of a sudden this "lady" comes marching at me with the look of a pit bull. I laughed again at the ridiculousness of this. She comes right up to me and knocks my Yankees cap off and says "Why don't you shut up, YANKEE fan!!!?" Now, other than when I was in Boston one time, I've never had my support of the Yankees be a reason for someone to attack me. She, like the cowards that these people usually are, started to walk away. I told her to hold on and come back. I said I was going to call the police and, again, apparently that is a crime too because that set Mr. Redneck Guy off into another rage of curses and threats to beat the "s***" out of me. Again, I laughed and said that "This is why I hate Wal-Mart...because of people like you."

As they took off walking, I was left to feel my heart rate pounding and my frustration level exploding. I always ask myself, after an experience like this, why do I bother expecting things of people? Why do I think that others will have the manners and compassion that I was told to expect? And then I looked at Mikey...

I looked at him and realized that this incredible little boy had more intelligence, class, and good-heartedness than those two adults could ever dream of having. I knew that I'd never let him get like them and that, yeah, I was setting a bad example for him by letting those people upset me. If you let someone who lacks your convictions make you lose your convictions (however temporarily) you're just as bad as they are.

Plus, and I don't know if this makes me a silly optimist, I still have faith in humanity. I've always believed we have the power to do good and to love each other. If that makes me the easy target then all I can say is that I'm ready to keep picking up my Yankee cap.