LIFE: Bitterness Doesn't Always Mean Failure

The following paragraphs are from the new book The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland (one of my favorite writers--check out his Web site at: http://www.coupland.com/). This is one of the best things I've read or heard lately:

"...We need to have laws to make killing dogs illegal. But what about cats? Okay, cats, too. What about snakes? Or sea monkeys?

I draw the line at sea monkeys. I draw lines everywhere. It's what makes people think I'm Mister Difficult. For example, people in the ATM machine lineup who stand too far away from the dispenser forfeit their right to be next in line. You know the people I mean--the ones who stay fifty feet away so they don't look like they're trying to see your PIN number. Come on. I look at these people, and I think, Man, you must feel truly guilty about something to make you broadcast your sense of guilt to the world with your freakish lineup philosophy. And so I simply stand in front of them and go next. That teaches them.

What else? I also believe that if someone comes up behind you on the freeway and flashes their lights to get you to move into the slow lane, they deserve whatever punishment you dole out to them. I promptly slow down and drive at the same speed as the car beside me so that I can punish Speed Racer for his impertinence.

Actually, it's not the impertinence I'm punishing him for, it's that he let other people know what he wanted.

Speed Racer, my friend, never ever let people know what you want. Because, if you do, you might as well send them engraved invitations saying, "Hi, this is what I want you to prevent me from ever having."

Bitter.

I am not bitter.

And even if I was, at least if you're bitter you know where you stand.

Okay, that last sentence came out wrong. Let me rephrase it:

At least if you're bitter, you know that you're like everybody else.

Strike that last effort, too. How about: At least if you're bitter, you know that you're part of the family of man. You know that you're not so hot, but you also know that your experience is universal. "Universal" is such a great word. You know that we live in a world of bitter cranks--a world of aging bitter cranks who failed and who are always thirty-two in their own heads.

Failures.

But bitterness doesn't always mean failure. Most rich people I've met are bitter too. So, as I say, it's universal.

Rejoice!

Did you laugh when you read that? Did you nod your head in agreement? For me, it was very refreshing. I smiled and said, "Exactly!" Even though that made me feel a bit guilty.

You see, the reason I haven't written recently is that I have been feeling kind of bitter about some things. Bitter and depressed and somewhat defeated.

I didn't get a job that I had interviewed for and it really knocked me down. As I've written previously, I was doing pretty good dealing with the extreme adversity I've had to face these past few months. But, not getting that job really hurt.

It's not that I haven't been passed over for other jobs that I've interviewed for since July. But this one was different because I really, really, really wanted it. I felt passionate about it. I would have gone to work gladly smiling and feeling as if I was being utilized to the best of my ability for my benefit, the company's benefit, and the consumers' benefit. When I got the email that informed me that, although I was a very, very strong candidate, they went with someone else who had just a little more experience in certain aspects of the position it sapped my strength and staggered me.

I let that bother and disappoint me so much that I actually became physically ill. Silly, I know. But I get very passionate about things I want and believe in. And you can get bitter when you feel as if you've given all that you could to prove to an employer that you are more worthy of the job than someone else. Does that make me silly or does it just make me passionate and competitive?

When you are unemployed for a while it's very easy to get discouraged. And it doesn't help when you have to deal with an unemployment system that only wants make sure you jump through all the right hoops before they release your small check to you. I've had two experiences with them so far that made me feel like my dignity was non-existent. God-forbid you don't sign the right form or submit for your benefits at just the right time! At least a circus animal gets a treat when they do as their master says. And circus animals don't have a concept of dignity and self-respect...good for them!

I've also run into so-called "executive recruiters" that are really just bogus fronts for scams and rip-off artists. One of my favorites was a woman who telephoned me twice and told me she got my resume from Monster.com. She was contacting me about a position in the financial services industry. The second time she called I answered and asked her if she had indeed read my resume on Monster.com. She said yes. I asked again and said but did you really "READ" my resume. She said yes again. I said then you must see that I work in the publishing/editorial field, correct? Again, she said yes. I said, "Then why are you wasting my time offering me a job in finance?!" I don't understand how these companies justify the resources they use to contact people who have no interest or no business being involved in industries outside of their expertise. I mean, I'm horrible at math, you don't want me working in the finance industry!!! :-)

Last week I started a temporary freelance job. It felt good to go and be productive and appreciated in a work environment again. I believe a hard day's work...an honest day's work...is essential to a human's happiness.

I still pursue my hunt for a permanent, full-time position. My main motivation, as always, is Mikey. He never gets deterred from being happy and pursuing that happiness. I need to continue to take my life lessons from him. He may only be two-and-a-half but is still my greatest teacher.